Back to School Musings From a Wistful, Fall Loving Mom

11:23 AM


Perhaps the most important benchmark of the fall season is going back to school... and I've been feeling a little misplaced over this event these past couple years. My once-little kidlets are now a second-year college student and a senior in high school. It's not like the senior needs my help with much (except the occasional homework reminder) and the college student is an adult. I'm experiencing a deficit in the school readiness department of mommy-hood.

I remember those cool, autumn mornings with the little ones in tow; them chattering about the school day ahead. I'd sleepily follow them along, listening while keeping a wary eye on the traffic as we made our way to the school just a few blocks away. When we eventually moved to a house further from school, driving them there just wasn't the same. I still look back on those early morning walks with fondness.

After almost 15 years of coordinating schedules, packing lunches, and yearly school supply shopping, I get a little misty at the sight of all the new gleaming notebooks, binders and pencils at Walmart I won't be buying. (Not for a few more years, anyway.) At least I have this to look forward to again soon with TJ.

This fall, you'll be more apt to find me lounging on my front porch when I'm not working my rear off at my day job (which is a pretty awesome gig because I freelance from home.) So I'm thankful that whenever the weather allows, I can wander outdoors to take a break and enjoy the autumn weather that's to come. The trick is going to be allowing myself time during the work day to indulge my senses and fully appreciate all that comes with my favorite season. It's hard because I'm somewhat of a workaholic these days.

But in just a short three or four years, I'll be filling up that old coffee mug, grabbing the nearest hoodie, and hurriedly heading out the door to get a little one off to class. Even if she ends up riding the bus, that lone walk back from the stop - just like coming back home alone from the school - will be filled with all the same emotions. That feeling of sending them off to learn while leaving them in another's care for the day is a little frightening, but the newfound freedom is exhilarating at the same time. It's a unique emotion, and I really miss it.

Diary of an imperfect mum

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